About Be-loved and other musings

 

Okay, now write something inspiring. No wait, just be real. Right… that’s the point.

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The best creature that exists. totally unrelated

For whatever reason I landed back on an old video poem thing that I created a couple years ago. After the first few seconds of cringing at something so vulnerable that my slightly younger self had revealed to the world, I was startled to feel the emotion of it. I felt where I was when I made the video, where I was when I started this blog. And suddenly I realized that this blog was not as selfless as I’d like to have thought it was. It wasn’t just about trying to help other people feel loved. It was also about some part of me searching for something better. It was me expressing myself instead of keeping everything bottled up. It was a chance to be vulnerable. And it was an attempt to convince other people of a reality I was trying to convince myself of. That I was loved, that I was valuable, and that I mattered. For whatever reasons those ideas seemed ludicrous to me at the time. The blog was a way to start putting myself back together again, bring out the darkness in me and force it into light. It has been a painful, terrifying and extremely rewarding process to have this ol’ blog, and I’m so glad I did it.
Posts are getting fewer now mostly because I seem to have just enough time to pull myself together, and not so much contribute to this wonderful process that I often convince myself isn’t important. Also I think it started to get stranger and stranger to tell all this deep personal stuff to the Internet, even though it seemed to yield positive results.
I don’t really know what this blog is about right now, but I know these words are some of the few things I can find these days that isn’t trying to be perfect, or look it.

All I want to say is, it is cool to see how this blog helped me grow, learn, and come to love myself in the ways I have learned to, although I learn more each day. I guess maybe I’m not sure if I have as clear of a direction, or if I know what I have to tell lately. But maybe something will come to me. Or maybe whoever reads this could give me some advice on what I should write about. Or that my consistent rambling about life is something that I should keep doing. Or maybe I’m just tired and emotional and I’ll regret posting this in the morning.

Authenticity is hard to find these days, but I think we all know that it’s still important.

Peace and Love, thank you for reading to the bottom of this post during your likely busy day. I Hope you feel loved today

Emily

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We are all creative

Creativity.

I love to ask people what they love to do for fun in hopes of indirectly sparking conversation on creativity. See, many people will tell me that are not creative if I ask about art or personal creative interests. Receptive of many creative forms sure, but not producers of it.

I do not for a second believe that there is any person that is not creative. So if you tell me that you are not I will always disagree.

As Jason Silva talks about in the video above, I really believe that there is something inside of you that you don’t really understand. Something that is begging to be recognized. Something that fills you with a sense of accomplishment and harmony. Creativity is something we all have the capacity for, and when we fulfill that we are met with a peaceful contentment. One that is quickly replaced by the desire to continue the process, to break the ceilings of what has been done before.

Creativity is both personal and shared. It is an expression of you that you can choose to give to the world, yet at the same time it is a development of yourself that will propel you forward. Creativity is doing something where you don’t know why it is right, all you know is that it is. You don’t know the answer, but creativity is the search for it. It is always crossing the line, it is always expanding. Creativity is growth, stepping out into the unknown. It is confusing, it is mysterious, and it is misunderstood. But creativity is what gives us life, and it is in the moments that make us feel alive.

Maybe you are not a painter. Maybe you are tone deaf and would never be caught dead in front of a crowd. There are forms of creativity that we commonly consider “artsy”, which I believe is a massive understatement of the concept.
Creativity isn’t just being “good” at something, it is just doing something with purpose and always striving to improve. It is expressing the energy that is inside of you, about sending out the signal from within.

It is about living with abandon, not knowing what you are doing but knowing that you are fully immersed in it. It has been described as the “flow” state, where all else falls away. You are completely absorbed, completely present. In a world where we are constantly fearing the future and dwelling on the past, I can’t think of anything more magical than being fully absorbed in the moment.

I think if we redefined what creativity is, we might see that part of being human is being creative. The ability to solve problems, adapt, move forward and overcome obstacles. Sometimes we just need to find the obstacle that we want to break through.

For me, creativity begins with believing that I possess it, that I have something to create. Then, it becomes about an exploration of a practice, any practice. Writing about what I think about the world, in ways that are deeply personal and unique to my experience. Singing in a way that makes me lose my sense of self and just float above it in a state of pure enjoyment. Making random things from an idea in my mind. Going somewhere new without having anything planned. Cooking something new, meeting someone new, trying something new. It always requires effort, but the reward is always worth it. Through creativity I discover the infinite nature of life, and a limitless number of possibilities.

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No two people are creative in the same way, so creativity must never simply be about competition. It is authentic, true and honest. The best part about true creativity is that nobody has the right to criticize its merit, so long as it is true for you (and not harming anyone else…).

We often let others create for us, so we can reap the benefits. Music, technological innovation, science, movies, the things we’d be lost without. But nothing compares to being lost in a creative moment. Knowing that you are contributing something absolutely unique to the world. And that’s a beautiful thing.

You are creative. I can promise you that. If you have discovered ways in which you have recognized your creative ability please do let me know, I would love to hear! If not, keep searching, I believe in you!

Sending vibes of love,

Emily

Love Yourself

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First.
Before trying to fix.
Before you return.
Before the repair.
Before the journey on.
Before you take one more step.
Please, love yourself.

Love the legs that got you here, and the ones that will
step bravely into the wilderness.

Love the heart that did not give up, the one that beats to a song, your song.

Love the eyes that trusted beyond the darkness enough to go without for a little while.

Love the body that grows, the one that will one day perish, for now it holds you, and you have it, it does not have you.

Love the mind that examines this landscape, constantly learning and responding to endless mystery.

Love the pockets of memories that it holds, and the ones that it will one day let go of.

Love the infinite consciousness that your soul holds in a cosmic embrace, love the fact that NOBODY can truly tell you who you need to be, because nobody really knows.

Love this moment, because it’s all you will ever have. It’s all you ever needed.

Love yourself as a companion, one that will never leave your side.

Love your fear, enough to know you can conquer it.

Love your ability to decide, the one thing that can never be taken from you.

Love yourself for all of this. Love the self you have been and what you will be.

Love.

Now carry on.

Photo: Justin Kern