What if what you need is what you need to find out for yourself?
I have begun the arduous journey of discovering that a lot of things we are told are not based on truth. Correction, MANY of the things we are told are false. The way to dress, talk, behave, pursue, succeed, love, hate, it is explained somewhere.
But I must pose the question: There seems to be limitless answers, so why don’t we live in utopian bliss? Because the answer for one may not ring true for another. I believe at best, answers are an attempt for truth, but there is something missing.
Sometimes as I scour the internet, and watch films exposing injustice, I discover a world of artificial truths, and feel defeated. I feel lied to, manipulated and discouraged. It causes me a great deal of emotional turmoil to discover that many things I have believed for as long as I can remember, may not in fact be true. They may not even be based on my well-being. Maybe I should have known this earlier, maybe a lot of you already are aware of this, through direct experience of false truth.
However, I do know I am not the only one who feels confused. I could let it beat me. I could curl up in a ball and choose not to believe what anyone says. I could become bitter, resentful and angry. I could fight fire with fire and violently aggress against those that enforce unethical bounds to our very existence.
But at the end of the day, I do not have the answer either. I do not know anyone who does, and I’m not sure one answer exists. Recently I have been made aware of many false ideas, yet the revealing of truth is specific to those areas. Uncovering the reality of one situation does not always generalize to an ultimate solution. That would be great, but it is not something I have been able to witness thus far.
So we are left with our capacity for wonder, our ability to imagine and create. We are left with our curiosity, thirst for knowledge, and innate need to survive. We reside within these bodies for a period of time, longing to be fulfilled, longing to be nourished.
We are told that we must work for it. That success does not come without hard work. But we have begun to associate that synonymously with monetary success, and forgotten what that actually produces.
When you look at your life, and what you desire to accomplish, how much of it is based on other people?
How much of your life is dedicated to responding to what you’ve been told?
How many hours of your day to you spend working hard towards a goal you don’t intrinsically desire to meet?
If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results then I beg you to stop for just a second.
Stop and think about times in your life where you have felt joy, happiness, success, freedom, love and belonging. What is it that has made you feel like life has a purpose? I do not ask what your purpose is, because that is a question we are asked constantly that may or may not have an ultimate truth to it.
Maybe it has been a long time since you felt purpose, maybe you have been convinced that you were destined to be whatever it is that you currently are.
But what if we believed freedom was relative? That our needs might in fact be unique? What if you saw yourself as a someone who has the inherent ability to fulfill your own specific needs?
Then it becomes a matter of figuring that out, of working hard to fulfill the needs that you actually require. You can become empowered by your own existence, knowing you hold truth within yourself. Working hard becomes less about providing the financial security to allow for basic survival. Instead it becomes the search for fulfillment, whatever that may be.
If you are unhappy with who you are or where you are at, take a moment to think about what you want. What you really want.
Now think about what you are currently doing.
How many of those wants are consistent with your ideal reality? How many are you unsure of? How many are directly in opposition with them?
Sometimes I think we are afraid to know what we want, because we know how hard it will be to pursue it. Because of money, adversaries, geography, time, lack of support and lack of belief in ourselves.
But spending our days chasing after something that we KNOW we don’t want, is never going to get us closer to a purposeful life.
Your value is not in the money you earn.
It is not in the materials you attain.
It is not the people you know, the places you’ve been.
There is value in what you want. What you really, really want.
What you would do for free. What you would sacrifice everything for. It is not restricted to a career, or lifestyle. It is what you want people to say about you when you’re gone.
Whether you believe life has a reason and purpose or not, you have the ability to create it, because you are alive, and you always have something to offer.
When you don’t want what they want, that does not mean you have failed. It means you have a different idea of what success is.
And here is the ultimate challenge. What is it that you want, that can also make someone else’s life better? Is your want simply about personal gain, or is there a way you can meet with a greater need?
“Vocation is where our greatest passion meets the world’s greatest need.” – Frederick Buechner
The world needs you. It needs your pursuits, desires and passions.
Me? I have new goals everyday. Seriously, it could be considered a hobby.
I want truth, and direction.
I want to contribute to a system that reaps and sows equality.
I want to erase cognitive dissonance from my life.
I want to depend on others, and not attempt to live life by my own strengths.
I want to experience art, and new realms of creativity.
I want to experience my skill set based on what it is that the world needs from me.
I want to feel free to express my deepest desires, and be excited about them.
I know that life has meaning. I want to cultivate that and erase the meaningless pursuits that strip it of its worth.
I want to know what love is at its best.
Seek first. Know after. Follow Freedom. Love unconditionally.